earthnation:

will u still love me when im no longer young and ok looking

(via maxterbate)

sloth-grunge:

do you think if i die now i’ll have enough time to be reincarnated as kim kardashians baby

(via heyfunniest)

starksexual:

i was at the bus stop with my sister the other day and for no apparent reason, she says: ‘dude, there are more dead people in the world than living people’ and the woman standing beside me whispered ‘holy shit’ and i fucking lost it

(via heyfunniest)

broternia:

i was just out taking a walk and some woman slowly stopped her car next to me and she was all like “excuse me” and i was freakin out like oh my god she’s going to kill me or ask for directions or something, my life is over, and she was like “take this” and she handed me a 10 dollar bill and she was like “get yourself a haircut so you can get a job you fucking hippie”  i’m laaughing so hard i am a 16 year old girl this is the greatest thing that has ever happened to me 

(via heyfunniest)

me: i'm gonna make you mine
me: *right click, save image as*

vougehoren:

‘whats shipping’

(Source: snowyhoren, via imhotteronline)

australiansanta:

dont ask me if im being sarcastic because most of the time i dont even know

(via and-none-for-gretchen-weinersbye)

partybarackisinthehousetonight:

pro tip: fill the piñata with absolutely nothing to prepare your kids for the letdowns of adulthood

(via maxterbate)

gorgeousdarren:

when you forget capslock is on and google something really aggressively by accident

(via maxterbate)

titytwochainz:

you really a bitch if you let the microwave hit zeros while your family is asleep you disrespectful bitch

(via thesinfulyouth)

jamesfrancgoaway:

“just wait i’m gonna get hot eventually” - me when i’m 83 years old

(via and-none-for-gretchen-weinersbye)